Week 6: Cherishing Your Spouse

When a couple gets married, you give up things and sacrifice for one another.  This is something that everyone should do in order to have your marriage become stronger.  When I think back to my marriage, I think back to never having an “alone” time to get to know my husband.  Let me explain.  I married my husband and he had 6 children from his previous marriage.  What did I sacrifice?  I sacrificed a special time in our lives that most newlyweds spend to get to know each other more.  I gave up my weekends of doing silly things, cheap dates, and in return gave him myself.  I ended up being an instant mom and when my husband lost his job, I gave up my salary in order to pay his child support.  Why?  I was asked that often.  I sacrificed for him, just as I felt he would have done the same for me if roles were reversed.  We married each other—for better or for worse.  Sure, the worse seemed to probably outweigh the better at times, but we have some beautiful children and family from our marriage.

President Eyring said in his talk, Our Perfect Example, “the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow.”  Sure, there are times I felt jipped, for not having that newlywed/childless stage.  I often wonder if I would be a better parent, as I would be learning as I go, instead of becoming one overnight.  While I have felt sorrow in my own home, I have felt the greatest of joys as well.  No doubt, those come as we choose to not be selfish and to serve one another.  I think service is the key in relationships.  There are times when I’m annoyed with my husband and tend to nag at him, complaining about what he hasn’t done.  Surely, he could turn around and do the same for me—asking why the house wasn’t perfect, or why the family is having leftovers.  My family, at the end of the day, regardless of what things I can check off my list, hopefully know that they are loved and will always be loved—even when I’m frustrated.

Once piece of advice I took from our reading, was to pray for our spouse (and children).  Pray for the good in them.  I think we are often overcome and tend to only see the bad, and fail to remind them of the good they do.  My husband has been frustrated with his job lately.  I’m sure that I could have helped ease a bit of his frustration, had I been more open to appreciating the long hours he puts in, to support our families.  He is a great individual and does great things for our family.