Week 4: Doctrine of Eternal Marriage

When reading about the wolves, as described in Elder Bruce C. Hafen’s talk entitled “Covenant Marriage”, I feel that the most detrimental wolf is that of the second one.  The second wolf is that their own imperfections will test them.  I have seen people who literally are verbally abused by others.  They are constantly put down and feel that they have little to offer the world, that they aren’t good enough, loved enough and have nothing they can offer.  Personally, I think of a couple we were friends with.  The mother worked full time while the father was finishing his degree.  Never once did we ever hear her speak positively about her husband.  It was always what he was doing wrong, yelling and telling him everything but what a good person he is.  Eventually, he had enough and mentally had a breakdown.  At first, we thought he was crazy, but we soon realized that she caused him to feel he was of no worth.  When he got the help, and saw him away from her (they ended up divorcing), we realized how amazing he was.  We realized then, just how powerful, negative comments can be.  On the other hand, I’ve seen those individuals with little to no self-esteem, who have blossomed and gained so much self-worth.  I love when I see men and women praising their spouses, continually.  It is amazing what positive influence you can have by speaking kindly and praising individuals, and how that can truly build and mold an individual. 

Husbands and wives, in marriage, can draw near to the Lord as they cherish each other.  Married couples become blessed through the uniting of their unique natures.  Elder Bednar’s talk, “"Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan”, he spoke of the relationships of husbands and wives.  Elder Bednar said that couples will “individually and steadily come unto Christ and be perfected in him.  As they are drawn to the lord as they serve and cherish one another.”  We must teach correct principles in the home and church.  When we give our companion our highest priority, love and respect and affection, our children will see these characteristics and will want it part of their own lives and marriages.  Couples will not grow closer as they speak negatively and bring each other down.  They will grow further apart.